I love that you know me. I love your facial expressions. I love the way you say my name. I love the way you want to tell me things. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love that we have the same sense of humor. I love that we're on the same wavelength. I love the friendly flirting. I love our conversations. I love that you care, even if it's not the kind of care that I want. I love that you are not so awkward around me. I love how you smell and how it lingers on my clothes. I love your hugs or hold and how they're warm and safe. I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh. I love how you're such a geek sometimes. I love that I'm your favorite. I love that our hands fit together perfectly. I love that you're concerned about me. I love that you make me do that cliche sigh. I love how you make me burst into fits of laughter after everything you say or act, because you really are that funny to me. I love how you trust me. I love how we're best friends. I love that I can trust you. I love that you're close by. I love that I was able to know you.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Just Another Emo Piece :)
I love that you know me. I love your facial expressions. I love the way you say my name. I love the way you want to tell me things. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love that we have the same sense of humor. I love that we're on the same wavelength. I love the friendly flirting. I love our conversations. I love that you care, even if it's not the kind of care that I want. I love that you are not so awkward around me. I love how you smell and how it lingers on my clothes. I love your hugs or hold and how they're warm and safe. I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh. I love how you're such a geek sometimes. I love that I'm your favorite. I love that our hands fit together perfectly. I love that you're concerned about me. I love that you make me do that cliche sigh. I love how you make me burst into fits of laughter after everything you say or act, because you really are that funny to me. I love how you trust me. I love how we're best friends. I love that I can trust you. I love that you're close by. I love that I was able to know you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
What Does Love Mean to You
Music my life
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
My Favorite Place, Wat Phnom
Cambodia Global UGRAD Experience
Monday, October 17, 2011
Drawing 101
Music: The Pink Panther
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Give up
It is neither my or your fault that I try to ignore you, but please stay away from me, so I can suffer less. I am trying not to think about you, so can't you just let me be?
I realize it is too tiring to keep holding on pursuing this hopeless dream
Maybe you will enjoy a greater life without me influencing you.
Soon you will find someone you could lean on when time get rough, someone you talk to on the phone till the sun comes up, and by that time comes, you will totally forget me :')
From now on, you will see a cold-hearted alter ego of me, and I'm sure soon you will get used to it.
So long my loveless romance.
Sincerely,
Old Me
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Family Vs. Friends
Heartfelt Story of นอกสายตา
Sing along and check the lyric out.
แอบ ยิ้ม เมื่อ เธอ ดีใจ • แอบ ทุกข์ เมื่อ เธอ เสียใจ
àep yím mêua ter dee jai • àep túk mêua ter sĭa jai
I smile secretly when you are happy, I’m secretly pained when you are depressed.
หัวเราะ และ ร้องไห้ • ไปกับ เธอ ทุกครั้ง
hŭa rór láe róng-hâi • bpai gàp ter túk kráng
(I’m) laughing and crying with you all the time
แม้ เธอ จะ ไม่ หันมา • ฉัน ยัง เฝ้ามอง ทุกวัน
máe ter jà mâi hăn maa • chăn yang fâo mong túk wan
even though you don’t see me, I see you everyday
ได้ เฝ้า ดู ห่างๆ มัน ก็ ยัง พอใจ
dâi fâo doo hàang man gôr yang por jai
Even if I only see you from a far, I am still content.
ไม่ หวัง ให้ เธอ มี ใจ • ไม่ หวง ถ้า เธอ มี ใคร
mâi wăng hâi ter mee jai • mâi hŭang tâa ter mee krai
I don’t expect you to love me, I’m not jealous if you have someone else
ไม่ หวัง ยืน ใกล้ๆ ไม่ ต้อง การร้องขอ
mâi wăng yeun glâi mâi dtông gaan róng kŏr
I don’t expect you to be close to me, I don’t demand it, I don’t need it
ได้ ยืน อยู่ บน ผืนดิน • ผืน เดียวกับ เธอ ก็ พอ
dâi yeun yòo bon pĕun din • pĕun dieow gàp ter gôr por
To smile on the same earth? As you, is enough for me
ฉัน ก็ มีความสุข • อยู่กับ ฝัน ของ ฉัน เท่านี้
chăn gôr mee kwaam sùk • yòo gàp făn kŏng chăn tâo née
I am happy too to live with my dream like this
*[อยู่ นอก สายตา • ของเธอ ตั้ง ไกล
yòo nôk-săai-dtaa • kŏng ter dtâng glai
Out of your sight living far from you
ฉันนั้น ก็ ทำ ได้ • แค่ มอง จาก ตรงนี้
chăn-nán gôr tam dâi • kâe mong jàak dtrong née
I can do that, and only keep watch over you from here
แต่ ฉัน ยัง รอ ซักวัน • เธอ หัน มอง ผ่าน ทางนี้
dtàe chăn yang ror sák wan • ter hăn mong pàan taang née
but I will wait for the day,that you will pass this way and turn to see me,
แค่ ซัก วินาที • เธอ เห็น ฉัน คน นี้ ใน สายตา
kâe sák wí-naa-tee • ter hĕn chăn kon née nai săai dtaa ]
in just a few seconds, you will see me , the person in front of you?
และ แม้ ว่า นาน เพียงใด และ แม้ ว่า ไกล ดังเดิม
láe máe wâa naan piang dai láe máe wâa glai dang derm
and even though it might take long, even though we are far as always
ยัง เฝ้า รอ เธอ อยู่ • ต่อ ให้ ไกล แค่ไหน
yang fâo ror ter yòo • dtòr hâi glai kâe năi
I will still wait for you , even though I don’t know how much longer and further it may be
ไม่เคย อยู่ ใน สายตา • ไม่เคย อยู่ ใน หัวใจ
mâi koie yòo nai săai dtaa • mâi koie yòo nai hŭa jai
(I have) never been in your sight, never been in your heart
แต่ ขอ มี เธอ ใกล้ • อยู่ ใน ฝัน ของ ฉัน ก็ พอ
dtàe kŏr mee ter glâi • yòo nai făn kŏng chăn gôr por
but having you close in my dream, makes me content
ไม่เคย อยู่ ใน สายตา • ไม่เคย อยู่ ใน หัวใจ
mâi koie yòo nai săai dtaa • mâi koie yòo nai hŭa jai
(I have) never been in your sight, never been in your heart
แต่ ขอ มี เธอ ใกล้ • อยู่ ใน ฝัน ของ ฉัน ก็ พอ
dtàe kŏr mee ter glâi • yòo nai făn kŏng chăn gôr por
but having you close in my dream , keeps me content
Dear Anonymous Stranger, I hope this message finds you well
Monday, September 26, 2011
Boring Holidays
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Bad Romance
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Greeting
Okay so this is what I did during the past week. It is all about going to provinces.
This week I have been to two provinces. I have got more things I can talk about for the first province. As a staff of UNDP, I was assigned to go to Kompong Speu province to facilitate a participant of UNDP Writing Competition in gathering stories and also to observe the work plan of UNDP project in Chambok. I am not a big fan of going to province honestly. I firstly agreed because I though Kompong Speu is the nearest province amongst all the choices I have. Nothing turned out as I expected. The first day I had to bike and walk to climb the mountain, and my body, especially my butt, was so painful. At night, we slept in villager’s house. I could not sleep the whole night just because of the sound of rain falling and the creepy feeling I got (Attention: There is no electricity in the village). I keep seeing people sitting next to my leg, and I meant it. In the morning, we woke up at 5 something in the morning to follow the villager to the forest where they go to pick up bamboo. FML!! I did not know we had to go in that freaking forest. I was so scared imagining what I possibly see in the forest, and yes the reality was much more frightening. The road was slippery as it was raining. The tall grass, thick forest, insect, reptile, parasite and stuff kept touching me, and I swear I just want to pass out. Suddenly, I remember pajamas in my bag with long pants, so I took it out and wear on my short. To feel more comfortable, I put on the rain coat for the sake that I would be less exposed to all those disgusting stuff. The picture is funny but yeah you can get some idea after all.
Seeing from all the complaints, you can easily tell that I’m not an adventurous person. Experience is all great but if I have choices, NO MORE.
The next province I went to was Kompot, which is part of my work for State Alumni. Well nothing much to talk about. Things went smoothly despite the rain.
So yeah that’s all I want to update!! Peace……
Treat people the way you want to be treated
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Little Something that Change Me
“Personality,” a simple but inspiring word, has changed my life. I remember I first heard that word in one American reality show “America’s Next Top Model” when I was in my freshman year. The show has taught me how valuable a person’s personality is.
Nevertheless, personality is not something you would find in Cambodian context due to the pressure from old people and culture which has forced all the young people being cookie-cutters, which excludes the unique from the society. I, myself, was a victim of bullying due to my so-called “sissy” personality. Therefore, I was determined that one day I have to go to America where I can be myself.
From that time, I was trying to figure out all the possible scholarships available for Cambodian people, and finally I managed to find one which was Global Undergraduate Exchange Program. In the program, three criteria would be evaluated including social engagement, professional experience and leadership. I was not that type of person who would go to volunteer and help random poor people. However, because of the requirement, I had to force myself to volunteer for different NGOs in Cambodia. This had changed my life. Going to the field, teaching young children and doing fund raising for poor people, I can feel that albeit being young, I can be a hero for some people, and seeing how thankful they were, I was so proud that I told myself even if I could not go to America, community service would always be in my agenda.
Finally, I was really selected by the US Embassy to go to America, which is my dream for so long, and, I was able to embrace my personality when I was there. However, my life as a volunteer did not end there. After coming back, I have guts to lead some community service projects myself. What is most rewarding about my work is that once people see how committed I am to the society, they start to accept me for who I am more, and the bullying just faded away itself. I am contented to say that my hard work did pay off.
A little painful thing in my heart
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
First Time Things :)
1. I have never known how debate works. All I know is that debating is arguing to win. You can scream loud with some good points then you can win. However, from the camp, I have an opportunity to really understand how all those things work and have load of chance to debate. From that, I have boosted my confident, and my speech has improved significantly. Specially, the result I received was fruitful since my group won the championship.
2. It was the first time that I dance in front of public that hard. I became so open and willing to dance with everyone. I used to be that person who cannot be touched physically. However, in the dance, I was so comfortable that I could dance a bit wilder with everyone.
3. The last but most exciting thing I did was kissing @_@ I know for some of you, it might sound so promiscuous. However, I just feel like I am adult now, and I should somehow experience this thing at some point. It was an awkward moment, and I did not do anything. So yeah I was so passive. Experience is what counted and I am not regret of doing it!
The image of that moment keeps popping up in my head till now. Nothing is strange since first time thing will be the most memorable thing ever.
You all might think I change, but I feel like life is somehow boring if I cannot do all those things most adult can do.
Friday, August 5, 2011
One Thing I want to Complain
Perhaps, those who know me will know why I disgust talking to boys. I just hate how judgmental they are toward a “sissy” people like me. Some days I will have to do something with those guys probably using media.
First of all, I really hate talking to guys I do not know. Whenever I talk to them first, they would think I am interested in them blah blah blah. Yet, when I do not talk to them, they would say “Ter Ja Rek Srey Sa Art” which literally mean “Act like a beautiful girl.” Come on…. Can you guys just cut it off? Don’t you know how hard it is to always try to please all of your opinions toward me every single time?
Nevertheless, I would not give too much sh*t toward the first type. What pisses me off the most is the second type. Those are guys either I just know or I have known for quite sometimes. It is very annoying when I start to get close to a guy and everyone around just keep saying we are in love. In this life, probably I won’t make even a single good boy friend (and I mean male friend FYI). Every time we get closer, often time, we are jeered of being in “relationship.” Finally, we would end up talking less or even stop talking to each other to avoid misassumption of those people.
Last but most importantly, it is so painful when someone I am so close with feel like I am trying to court him. Oh god puh lez…. I am so tired. Guys I am so tired of you all. I’m nice to everyone I want to be friend with, and please stop feeling I am trying to make you special.
Okay to all you "awesome" guys out there, here is something I want to shout out to you.
1. “Don’t judge book by its cover.” It is as simple as that, so use your brain. Your stereotype is annoying and ruining people’s joy of life. Give others a break and stop thinking every gay out there is so desperate to get you.
2. When your good “gay” friends are nice to you, it does not mean they are falling for you. They just need a good friend, a damn friend, so stop being so ego about yourself.
3. Go f*ck yourself if you still feel too proud of yourself, and the picture below is for you ;)
"PRIDE" can you understand that word? Everyone has his or her own pride, and please don't feel like you are higher than others.
Hope you learn something from that. Phew………………..
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Arguement
Friendship Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Thank to Smartphones
Perhaps, people would not be so surprised about the whole corruption and cheating issues. However, I was super abashed to see how smart students in this generation have become. They surely do know the best use of their multifunctional mobile phone, iPhone specifically, and current advanced fast and cheap accessible internet.
Probably, one would know the process of giving answer sheets in the past. Before, students who were not so committed into studying often asked for salvation from their relatives and friends during exam. Their relatives or friends often hired an expert in the right field or buy the answer from others to throw it into the exam venue or use mobile to call out the answer if it is just a literature or writing exam.
In this advanced world, we all have known that mobile phone is no longer a talking machine. Current mobile phones do almost as many functions as a laptop can, and Cambodian young people know the best use of it.
So here is how the process has slightly changed. Same things happen with how their relatives and friends need to stay with an expert once the exam questions release. The only difference is that once those experts answer, they simply need to scan it and send the answer sheet via email to the exam takers. Inside the room, students just open their mobile phone, and every answer to the questions is there.
A small mobile phone is enough to be best in cheating. I wonder how the Ministry of Education would deal with this issue. Most likely, they may need a scanning machine outside the school to check for electronic equipment before entering to do exam.
Let’s see together how exam in the next generation would turn out to be.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Keep holding on
Thursday, July 14, 2011
没用的感觉
The result is so serious @_@ I kinda fall into the concept of fantasy miracle things.
I should get myself back and ignore any romantic evocation possibility!
New determination: reduce watching romantic movies and try to get away from that person who make me feel that short of emotion! It is hard but I will follow my brain not heart :D Fighting... peace world =)
GOOD QUOTE OF THE DAY "Never make someone your everything cos when they are gone you will have nothing"
Life Quotes
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Backup Plan
Recently, I have just realized one important life matter. I suddenly do feel that I will never ever be a very victorious person if I keep working on Public Relations in my entire life. After having gone through some serious PR work, my natural characteristics can be a huge disadvantage in this field. My biggest concern is speech problem. Whenever I try to use Khmer academic words, I begin to feel awkward and forget what I want to say. Something about the impression people make when I speak do not make me feel comfortable. Also, I do not have people skills, and I, often time, find it very hard to talk to people. With these problems, no matter how good I am, I won’t be able to make it to the top level.
This somehow made me feel hopeless of my life. All of a sudden, I just recall my naive dream when I was a teenager. In high school, I really wanted to be an ambassador or at least working in embassy. This dream ended when I realize there was no International Relations government scholarship course provided.
So here is my backup plan. Hopefully, I will be able to pursue my Master Degree in International Relations. Some people cannot distinguish between PR and IR. The two jobs are both about building relations between one institution to others. Nevertheless, what make me feel confident about working in IR is that I will need to deal with more paper work and less people. Besides, foreign languages do matter more than PR, and so I do not have to feel awkward whenever I start talking again. Nothing is happier than staying in my comfort zone while doing what I like.
So yeah finger crossed for my decision. From now on, I just have to work on my PR work and build strong background with my languages skills. Fighting Mesa!!! 你一定会的!โชคดี
❤
All of us have someone who is hidden in the bottom of the heart. When we think of that one, we will feel like umm.. always feel a little pain inside. But we still want to keep that person. Even though I don’t know where that someone is today, what is that one doing, but he is the one who makes me know this.. สิ่งเล็กๆ ที่เรียกว่า...รัก <3
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Crazy little thing called "Love"
แค่ซักวินาที เธอเห็นฉันคนนี้ในสายตา
Although I'm hurtful when you tell me about others, I am glad to be here for you when you need someone to talk to.
Heartbreak Quotes
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Just need someplace to shout out :)
Never in my life have I thought of being in a relationship with anyone. Perhaps, for those who know me would exactly know why I do not deserve the relationship a normal person would have. I no longer feel bad about myself for not being able to experience what we call “Romance.”
I do not want to get caught up in romantic relationship since I do not believe that the kind of romance I wish to have does exist. Nevertheless, even if it does exist, I am still not gutsy enough to maintain it. In other words, either that kind of love exists or not, I won’t have a good result. During my 21 years of living, I have been approached by some people, a few of whom I really did like. However, I was destined to be single because of who I am and the pressure I have from family and society. That’s why I always tell myself never want to try that so-called romance, and yes I have been able to control it.
Now I feel like I somehow hate myself. I hate that I cannot control my emotion. I hate that I finally like a person I should not.
I gradually like that person. I like listening to that person’s story. Whenever I am with that one, I change myself into a whole complete new different person. I lost my cheerful and bubbly personality. Probably, I was too self-cautious on how I might appear in front of that one. I appear to be too emotional like a drama queen and like to think a lot and alone when I’m with or without that person.
So now I determine to follow one resolution: “Just be me. No reason to fake be-yotch! That person wants to see the funny side of you, not the dramatic side!“ and that person often said “Just be yourself and happy for whatever you do” and yeah now I’m trying to learn from you :P That’s the best I can do to cherish our time together J
I know that person treat me like best friend but I can’t help thinking that that person may like me too. Anyway, I love how we both interact now. I love how I am trusted to share all the happy and sad moment with that person. At least I know that person trusts me a lot and tell me so many things that person doesn’t share many people. I am happy to stay at that person’s back comforting whenever I am needed. I don’t wish to be the special person. If that person knows how I feel, that one will just freak out and what result can I get? I have tried so hard to come to this point, and we will just become “stranger again.” Cannot be even just friends L
I know it can be boring but I just want somewhere to express my feeling; otherwise, I would just explode :D
Alright,
Peace world (^,^)v
Monday, June 6, 2011
Tomorrow English test :)
I'm back :)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Fear of Home
Friday, March 11, 2011
Amor ASB and America! Thank for Everything!
As you can see in my title, I will share you all the best trip that really impacts my life and my personality, and by saying "best" I really mean it is the best I have ever had so far.
During the break, we played a little not-so-fun game called "Penguin finds Mama." (No offense to those who initiate the game, but it was a bit lame). In the evening, we went to a lecture on tree conservation. I could barely open my eyes due to tiredness and lack of sleep. I thought I was going to pass out during the reflection. Yet, it turned out to be that we would be doing a little debating on environmental issue, so I was more awake. Then we did a little name cheer so that we could show other group how awesome we were. The last fun thing of the day, we did a lot of crazy group posts like sexy beast, prompt pose, and animal post.
I was completely awake by then that I would be down for any games. We played "Sign," "Picture Telephone" and "Celebrity." Again those game were awesome, and I need to write down the instruction. (Little known fact: My sign was Spirit fingers and Kyle, the cute leader, couldn't do my sign well. Only those who know would know what I mean LOL)
Finally, we partied and danced. It was funny, but I told my friends I felt like I was an American too. It was a great indescribable kind of feeling. Indeed, I know I can fit to another society.
Before taking a bus going back to Illinois, we played "Ride the Pony"again in the public, and it was insane since many people looked at us and took pictures of us. I know it always feels so good to be the center of attention.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Random Stories
I have a few random stories to update.
The first story is about the new Facebook profile photo of mine which I have received a lot of "Like." Some people also left some mean comment saying I am fake. I feel a bit offended honestly. This picture was taken when I took the violin midterm test at my university, and all students are required to dress up. I am not a professional player. I actually just know a few song. Still, I need to dress up for the sake of musician.
The second story is about today's presentation. I did a presentation on Cambodia using only 6 minutes. It was challenging, but overall I think I did a good job. If you want to see the slide presentation, you might see below
The final story is about a lame business making in front of my school building. I was walking out of School of Communication, and a few guys were selling an egg for one dollar. If we buy it, we can throw it to one of them. That guy said "This person hates School of Communication students! Buy an egg and throw at him." Then I was like "I don't give a shit." :P I am not that dump to waste money.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Where you often seek inspiration?
If you do, you are on my boat. :D
You need to find things that inspire you to overcome this thing, and I have found mine.
My inspiration is disabled people. I have just found that I like working with disabled people, so that I know there are people that wish they are in my position right now. They inspire me to live albeit minor difficulties I may encounter in life. "You are fat, gay or stupid, so what? I have no hands, but I'm still happy, and I love to live in this world." Isn't it inspiring? Thank to those people who keep motivate me.
After all, you should think that maybe you are the reason why all the doors are closed so you can open one that leads you to the perfect road. Find that window, and you will live a happy life ;)
Sunday, February 13, 2011
International Fair
Having my own very first booth representing Cambodia during the 41th International Fair at Illinois State University is such a great opportunity. It was an exhausting day for me since I am the only one in my university; therefore, I have to decorate everything and explain about Cambodia to many other people alone. However, for my own and my country’s sake, I have put all my effort into attracting people to see the wonderful and rich culture of Cambodia. Honestly, I had always felt so bad to be the only Cambodian. I had always been jealous of those countries that have so many people. However, International Fair taught me one important lesson. Since so many people were interested in Cambodia, I was wondering. What if I were not here? How can these people know about Cambodia? What is the advantage of going to places where people already know a lot about Cambodia? After all, I think the effort I have been put is paid off well, and people really appreciated all new things they have learnt from me today.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Korean Look
Today's topic I want to talk about is Korean Look. Probably, you have noticed that most Cambodian people would say "You look like Korean" whenever they see people that look good. I, myself, was told that too :"> EPIC!
However, we all know actually not many normal people in Korea do not have that extraordinary look too. Only those who are on TV and some ordinary people that have the look we are talking about. Plus, Cambodian stars and many other ordinary people also look appealing. Therefore, why do we need to give value to other people?
Stop please. Just say you look good because you are Khmer, not you look good because you look like Korean. That's ough.....
By the way, I'm not being sarcastic to Korean! I love Korea too :-*
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
LOL
So guys next time beware of using those words. Put "lol" only when it is really funny to you.
I know you will say I'm bitchy, but who care? LOL :P
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Looking old
Last week, I got a photo comment from my sister.
Photoshoot
It was snow day, and we cannot go anywhere because of the damn big piles of snow outside! Instead of going out, we took advantage of the snow and took photos.